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Submitted on
June 24, 2012
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Ever wake from a nightmare, or maybe even a day dream, that felt so real that the second you find out it was all in your head, you can't help but bite your tongue at the words, "But it did happen," or maybe even you have to stop a moment and think, "Did that really happen, or did I dream it?" I get this sensation constantly and a large amount of the time I find myself wondering what's real and what I made up in my head. If it weren't for the fact that I know I'm completely sane of mind, I would probably be constantly persuading myself that I am, indeed, completely and utterly out of my mind insane. But my life isn't interesting enough to allow me to go that far.

Another thing I'm compelled to question is.. Have you ever watched someone walk out of your life, completely turn their back on you and vanish into thin air? With time, of course, you build your life back up. You start over, you take a deep breath, and you whisper within your heart, "They don't matter anymore. For all you care at this point, they're dead to you." Life is going good, things are going just as they should but of all a sudden, they show back up on your doorstep. Apologizing. Telling you they miss you, making you remember everything, ripping those partially healed stitches wide open to the point that your gasping for air, clinging to the last sane thought you have with shaking and trembling hands, hoping and praying to anything that it will just all.. end. That this feeling will pass, and things will go back to normal. You'll wake from this incredibly realistic dream. Yet, at the same time, you're praying with every fiber of your being that you're wrong. That this is not a dream, and that it will never end. That maybe somehow.. Just somehow.. Things fall back into place and heal.

Call me a dreamer, or a lunatic.
But sometimes I can't even let go of the things that caused me pain in the past. Maybe because.. Even though they've caused me pain, they also caused me to feel a lot more than that. Maybe I'm just holding onto that at this point.
  • Mood: Regretful
  • Listening to: My inner thoughts.
  • Watching: My computer cursor.
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:iconsempreleviathan:
sempreLeviathan Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2012
sorry, can i copy this ?
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:iconimkaylakilljoy:
imkaylakilljoy Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2012  Student Writer
May I ask why and what for? o.o
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:iconsempreleviathan:
sempreLeviathan Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2012
I like what i think to understand...
And there isn't a reason...i only like what you write.
Reply
:iconimkaylakilljoy:
imkaylakilljoy Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2012  Student Writer
Oh, well then, thank you :]
This really is just an actual journal entry for me though.
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:iconsempreleviathan:
sempreLeviathan Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2012
Jorge Luis Borges said (approximately) :
''Each poem is mysterious : no one knows fully what he has been granted to write.''

and thank you :]
Reply
:iconimkaylakilljoy:
imkaylakilljoy Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2012  Student Writer
I love that quote :] <3
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:iconsempreleviathan:
sempreLeviathan Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2012
i too :)
if i see others writings of yours that i like a lot, can i copy them too ?
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:iconimkaylakilljoy:
imkaylakilljoy Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2012  Student Writer
As long as when you copy them, you credit me for them if they are used in any way. I would also prefer that they are not re-uploaded to the internet without you first having asked me in advance and receiving my permission to do so.
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